Budapest Post

Cum Deo pro Patria et Libertate
Budapest, Europe and world news

Violent men are to blame, not Tinder. But online dating comes with risk

Violent men are to blame, not Tinder. But online dating comes with risk

After the horrific murder of Grace Millane, it’s worth reflecting on safety measures for dating

Women, please never feel that you have to be “cool” about dating strangers you meet online.

The killer of Grace Millane has been jailed for life, a minimum of 17 years, for strangling her to death in a hotel room in Auckland, New Zealand, after a Tinder date, the night before her 22nd birthday. Afterwards, the man, whose name has been suppressed, watched porn and took intimate “trophy” photos of the British backpacker. He set up another date for the following day, leaving her body in the hotel room.

When caught, he tried to plead the sinister, increasingly popular, “rough sex gone wrong” defence. (The detective inspector in the case said: “Strangling someone for five to 10 minutes until they die is not rough sex”.) It might seem almost incidental that Millane met her killer online. Maybe it is, maybe not.

Online dating sites have been around for too long for the genie to be put back into the bottle. Nor is it necessary, but do we all need to wake up, just in terms of safety? This isn’t about victim-blaming – only one person was responsible for Millane’s death. Nor is it about morality – I couldn’t care less who people sleep with or how long they’ve known them. This is about women deserving to be safe and how the online dating model fails them, not least by putting a covert pressure on them to casually put themselves at risk.

It could be said that much of the no-strings, arguably male-centric online hooking-up model fails anyone who’s looking for a relationship. But, for now, let’s focus purely on safety. Online dating has effectively normalised risk for women. Chatting online produces a mirage of familiarity where normal rules become blurred, making it easy for people to forget that, when they meet, they’re on a blind date.

Of course, any kind of dating is risky – life is risky – but when it comes to one on one, alone in a room, a woman would usually be physically weaker than a man and therefore less able to fend off an attack. It doesn’t mean that men aren’t sometimes vulnerable, rather that women are nearly always vulnerable – they’re always taking a chance.

However casual the encounter, women need to protect themselves, not just by initially meeting in a public place, but also by listing their locations all the way through and perhaps taking a photo of themselves with their date and storing it online. Don’t apologise, just do it, be upfront and “uncool” about it. If someone doesn’t like it, or calls you paranoid or weird, get out of there.

Men need to start appreciating the huge risks women take with online dating or at least stop diminishing them. Sorry if this comes across as mumsy or prescriptive, but cases like this haunt me; devastated families like the Millanes break me. While there’s nothing wrong with casual sex, don’t be casual about safety.


Stormzy is on a roll with his Greggs card – vegan of course

It must be refreshing for a celebrity to get a freebie that’s useful in an ordinary, delicious way. Rapper Stormzy can’t move for accolades but now that he’s the first person to receive the Greggs concierge black card, he can order “whatever he wants, wherever, whenever”. Posting a film of the invitation and card on social media, Stormzy wrote: “I have peaked, this is brilliant.” Quite. It would appear that the vegan sausage rolls are on Stormzy. Forever. Well done, Greggs – another triumph.

The concierge scheme is by invitation only and similar to the Nando’s card, which allows celebrities to take up to five guests to restaurants free. It seems to be in response to Stormzy previously professing himself to be a Greggs fan, while moaning that they wouldn’t deliver. Delivery problem solved, though only for Stormzy.

For health reasons (finger wag!), people shouldn’t eat Greggs all the time, but I’m sure Stormzy wouldn’t do that anyway. Otherwise, while this story is about the successful interlocking of brands – high street and streetwise – it goes beyond thatthan that. One reason why I like Stormzy is that he surrounds himself with genuine good friends and insists they’re treated with respect, to the point where he once walked out of a festival when he felt his friends had received racist treatment. I like the thought of him and his crew fancying a Greggs and Stormzy pulling out the concierge card.

In Stormzy’s position, the bombardment of freebies must be brilliant but, just occasionally, exhausting? When you hear about the Oscars’ gift bags, with vouchers for plastic surgery clinics, it could even seem full-on depressing. The Greggs card sorts out a quick bite for Stormzy and his friends – sometimes, what could be sweeter?


Bloom won’t be the last to suffer a tattoo bloomer

Actor Orlando Bloom has had to revise a tattoo – instead of spelling out his son’s name Flynn in morse code, it ended up as Frynn. A dot was missing and Bloom dealt with the mistake with humour: “Finally dot it right.”

It’s sweet that Bloom wishes to do this for his son, but also… why? It reminds me of people going to places such as Goa, getting carried away and returning with weird scrawling over their limbs. Often, it’s some meaningful quote in Sanskrit, or so they hope. It could easily be “leave my country, irritating tourist” in fluent Konkani.

Bloom isn’t the only celebrity to suffer an ink disaster: Ariana Grande wanted her 7 Rings lyrics written in Japanese on her arm and ended up with “small charcoal grill”. Generally, isn’t an illustration less risky?

Even if the writing is accurate, who wants to live their entire life by something they believed on a youthful beach holiday while wearing braided ankle bracelets and harem pants? In these meme-infested times, what inscription has any hope of remaining meaningful and not lumped in with all that yoga-hippy “believe in yourself” drivel on social media?

The moral of the tale seems to be: if you must get a dodgy tat, get an image.

AI Disclaimer: An advanced artificial intelligence (AI) system generated the content of this page on its own. This innovative technology conducts extensive research from a variety of reliable sources, performs rigorous fact-checking and verification, cleans up and balances biased or manipulated content, and presents a minimal factual summary that is just enough yet essential for you to function as an informed and educated citizen. Please keep in mind, however, that this system is an evolving technology, and as a result, the article may contain accidental inaccuracies or errors. We urge you to help us improve our site by reporting any inaccuracies you find using the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of this page. Your helpful feedback helps us improve our system and deliver more precise content. When you find an article of interest here, please look for the full and extensive coverage of this topic in traditional news sources, as they are written by professional journalists that we try to support, not replace. We appreciate your understanding and assistance.
Newsletter

Related Articles

0:00
0:00
Close
U.S. and Hungarian Officials Talk About Economic Collaboration and Sanctions Strategy
Technology Giants Activate Lobbying Campaigns Against Strict EU Regulations
Pope Francis Admitted to Hospital in Rome Amid Increasing Speculation on Succession
Zelensky Calls on World Leaders to Back Peace as Tensions Rise with Trump
UK Leader Keir Starmer Calls for US Security Guarantee in Ukraine Peace Deal
NATO Chief Urges Higher Defense Expenditure in Europe
The negotiation teams of Trump and Putin meet directly, establishing the groundwork for a significant advancement.
Rubio Touches Down in Riyadh Before Key U.S.-Russia Discussions
Students in Serbian universities Unite to Hold Coordinated Protests for Accountability.
US State Department Removes Taiwan Independence Statement from Website
Abolishing opposition won't protect Germany from Nazism—this is precisely what led Germany to become Nazi!
Transatlantic Gold Rush: Traders Shift Bullion in Response to Tariff Anxieties and Market Instability
Bill Ackman Backs Uber as the Company Shifts Towards Profitability
AI Titans Challenge Nvidia's Supremacy in Light of New Chip Innovations
US and Russian Officials to Meet in Saudi Arabia Over Ending Ukraine Conflict. Ukraine and European leaders – who profit from this war – excluded from the negotiations.
Macron Calls for Urgent Summit as Ukraine Conflict Business Model is Threatened
Trump’s Defense Secretary: Ukraine Won’t Join NATO or Regain Lost Territories
Zelensky Urges Europe to Bolster Its Military in Light of Uncertain US Backing
Chinese Zoo Confesses to Dyeing Donkeys to Look Like Zebras
Elon Musk is Sherlock Holmes - Movie Trailer Parody featuring Donald Trump's Detective
Trump's Greenland Suggestion Sparks Sovereignty Discussions Amid Historical Grievances
OpenAI Board Dismisses Elon Musk's Offer to Acquire the Company.
USAID Uncovered: American Taxpayer Funds Leveraged to Erode Democracy in Europe Until Trump Put a Stop to It.
JD Vance and Scholz Did Not Come Together at the Munich Security Conference.
EU Official Participates in Discussions in Washington Amid Trade Strains
Qatar Contemplates Reducing French Investments Due to PSG Chief Investigation
Germany's Green Agenda Encounters Ambiguity Before Elections
Trump Did Not Notify Germany's Scholz About His Ukraine Peace Proposal.
Munich Car Attack Escalates Migration Discourse Before German Elections
NATO Allies Split on Trump's Proposal for 5% Defense Spending Increase
European Parliament Advocates for Encrypted Messaging to Ensure Secure Communications
Trump's Defense Spending Goal Creates Division Among NATO Partners
French Prime Minister Bayrou Navigates a Challenging Path Amid Budget Preservation and Immigration Discourse
Steering Through the Updated Hierarchy at the European Commission
Parliamentarian Calls for Preservation of AI Liability Directive
Mark Rutte Calls on NATO Allies to Increase Defence Expenditures
Dresden Marks the 80th Anniversary of the World War II Bombing.
Global Community Pledges to Aid Syria's Political Transition
EU Allocates €200 Billion for AI Investments, Introduces €20 Billion Fund for Gigafactories
EU Recognizes Its Inability to Close the USAID Funding Shortfall Due to Stalled US Aid
Commission President von der Leyen Missing from Notre Dame Reopening Due to Last-Minute Cancellation
EU Officializes Disinformation Code for Online Platforms, Omitting X
EU Fails to Fully Implement Key Cybersecurity Directives
EU Under Fire for Simplification Discussions Regarding Corporate Sustainability Reporting
Shein Encountering Further Information Request from the EU During Ongoing Investigation
European Commission Initiates Investigation into Shein as It Aims at Chinese E-Commerce Regulations
German Officials Respond to U.S. Proposal for Peace Talks with Russia
Senate Approves Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services.
Trump and Putin Engage in Discussions on Ukraine Peace Negotiations Amid Worldwide Responses
Honda and Nissan End Merger Talks
×