In a recent revelation that shook many, Duchess Catherine of Wales shared the personal challenge of discussing her cancer diagnosis with her children.
This topic resonates with numerous families who find themselves in a similar situation, wrestling not only with the illness itself but also with how to communicate it to their young ones.
In a poignant video released on Friday, Duchess Catherine highlighted a significant moment when she and
Prince William needed time not only to process her cancer diagnosis but also to figure out the best way to break the news to their children, George, Charlotte, and Louis, aged 10, 8, and 5, respectively. They aimed to explain the situation in an age-appropriate manner and reassure them that "everything will be alright with me."
The New York Times explored this delicate dilemma with the help of a psychologist. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek remarked, "These are among the most crucial and sensitive conversations a parent can have with their child." For younger children, especially, parents are a constant source of stability, and any disruption, even from a manageable disease like cancer, can be profoundly frightening. She advised parents to explain that there will be times when they may not feel well but emphasized the importance of being there for their children. Hirsh-Pasek stressed that children could sense when adults are hiding something, making honesty crucial in such situations.
Social worker Hadley Maya emphasized the importance of having these conversations openly with children, helping them to navigate their feelings, worries, and imaginations which often conjure scenarios far worse than reality. Interestingly, the term “cancer” does not scare them as much as it does adults. "It's the unknown that frightens them more," Maya stated.
Both experts agreed that it's okay for a parent to show vulnerability, such as crying in front of their children. This can teach them that it's permissible to express their emotions and seek support.
Maya highlighted the importance of explaining to children that cancer is not contagious, allowing them to understand they can still hug their parents without fear. It’s vital to communicate that they are not to blame for the illness and to avoid using euphemisms for cancer. Furthermore, it's crucial to encourage questions from children, acknowledging when the answers are unknown.
Experts particularly appreciated the reassuring tone in Duchess Catherine's brief address. "As I told them, I am doing well and getting stronger every day, focusing on the things that help me heal: my mind, my body, and my soul," the Duchess stated.
Dr. Hirsh-Pasek also told the New York Times that such discussions should not dwell on death and dying but rather focus on life, highlighting the importance of fostering a hopeful and open dialogue.